Thursday, March 18, 2004


Life's one big show.
It's hard not to get caught in it because you get left behind if you don't.

I'm always so concerned about how others are feeling. I want people around me to be happy when they're with me. I'm scared of offending. Of hurting. I want people to trust me. To know they can always depend on me to be a friend.

Why do I find it so hard to open up to people? I always have this nagging fear within me when I go into a conversation with someone new. It's like I really need the person to have had a good time talking to me. I don't know how to put it, this is the best I can do:
I don't want the person to waste his/her time talking to me. I want the person to feel that it was worth spending that few minutes with me. I think I have some weird strain of inferiority complex. It's easy to identify, but I can't cure it. I always feel, um, of less worth?

Do you get it? Because I don't get why.


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