Sunday, August 08, 2004

The Schitz

I'm so slack and behind my work that I don't deserve to be called a student, much less a scholar. Sometimes I think I'm not suited for a life of academia and scholastic achievements. It's like I feel so done with studying. I want to WORK. I know it's tough. Working is tough, yes. You can't afford to make mistakes, yes. But I'm ready. I'm ready to do stuff instead of just learning about them and not seeing them anywhere in the real world. I'm ready to get kaupeh-ed by my boss, I'm ready for office politics. I'm ready to DO, not learn about doing.

I can't imagine myself studying all the way to a PhD in one go. I can't. I have to start working or I'll go nuts. Maybe do a PhD when I've worked enough to fund my own studying.

The question is, is it Singapore's system that doesn't suit me or is it studying in general? Because I LOVED studying back home. Like real passion. No one had to bug me to study. I loved learning. But maybe it's just me. I'm just slack now? I don't know.

But what I do know is that like it or not, I'm where I am now. And I need to do the best I can so there won't be any regrets.

So Ngee Shin, you know what to do. Start doing work. You know you haven't been working at all. Stop avoiding it. Just do it. So you can stop worrying. Worrying and never doing is just as bad as never doing.

Ok ok ok ok. After my orchard shopping spree with Yenhan and Ven ok?'

Ok, but no more excuses.


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